Most of us have a strong belief that we are good and honest people. This self-perception dictates how we view ourselves and the world around us. Unless proven otherwise, we see ourselves as usually being fair, truthful, and correct in how we behave and treat others. Our integrity is intact.
We are naturally resistant to any accusation that our behavior might be anything but totally integral in our dealings with other people. Anything that puts this concept into question is seen as an affront to our integrity and is regarded as an unfair accusation. “How dare she imply that I might not be telling the truth. The nerve of her.” This is what social scientists call bounded ethicality.
Sometimes when we feel threatened, we look for standards and rules that prescribe right behavior models. In my profession – coaching – we have a Code of Ethics which prescribes some of the DOs and DON’Ts of being a coach of high standards. I sit on the board that reviews complaints against coaches who belong to the International Coach Federation (ICF). In almost all cases, the coach being complained about feels their actions were correct under the circumstances. However, in the view of the complaining client, something happened which was offensive and unfair. Integrity is in the eyes of the beholder.
Seeing things from the perspective of the other person is often the key to unlocking the truth behind each controversy. Where is the other person coming from? What values and expectations does he bring with him? How are those different from mine?
Living the Dream with integrity means not only being seen as right in our own eyes, but also in the eyes of those we interact with. Instead of controversy, try collaboration. Instead of confrontation, try cooperation. Live out your dream with a sense that you are getting along with those in your social circle.
Living the Dream with integrity
Posted by Blazing New Trails Coaching on Friday, April 28, 2017